Wrong Expectations

So, my father is coming to Kentucky. As usual I am trying to negotiate the best atmosphere for us to talk. We are going to be on campus only a short while and then spend a few days down in Gaitlenburg (?) together before heading up to visit the rest of the family in southern Indiana. My dad is an amazing man. He is intelligent, articulate, funny and humble. My father has passed onto me his love of books, the written word (little “w”), John Landis films, and a pride in doing things correctly. My father is one of those truly unique individuals who can run his life in a particular way without any desire to change others. You just take him or leave him. And frankly, most people leave him. There is not a malicious bone in his body – there just isn’t a compassionate one either.

These last few weeks have been filled with questions: How am I going to wrap up the gospel presentation this time? How am I going to share yet another dimension of God for my father to be dazzled? How can I “bring it” in a fashion that he will deem both worthy to be heard and followed?

These questions have been weighing heavy on my heart. I don’t mean to sound dark but, hell is a real place and I take seriously that it is exactly where my father is headed.

I remember a conversation I had with a prof when I first got to Asbury. I was so excited to meet him. He really was puffed up in my head. During our first conversation we talked about hell and calvinism. He said, “Hell is the rock upon which calvinism should break.” I didn’t say anything in response at the time – how could I? This was one of the few professors I moved across the country to study under. Yet, in my head at least I replied that Hell is the rock upon which calvinism is built. Hell is a real place and we can’t, we mustn’t squirm at it. Rather, we need to use that as a motivation to show the love of Christ.

Did I just say love of Christ? Yeah – I am all about sin and hell and puritans… I’m just not great with the whole love thing. That’s why it totally shocked me when one of my very good friends back home encouraged me that I should just love on my Dad the best I could. He told me to just let the Spirit lead and continue being the dispenser of God’s love. He reminded me that my biggest obstacle (the actual receiving of God’s love) is likely the same obstacle for my dad. My friend proceeded to call me on the fact that getting past my comfort zone might be exactly what both of us needed. So instead of some apologetics lecture I should just stick to how God is changing my heart – what He is doing in my life. I can’t describe how this advice, considering the source, floored me.

And so it seems that this entire season is filled with wrong expectations. Which, for the record, has been surprisingly good all around.